Money conversations can help couples build trust, understand each other’s financial habits and make decisions about debt, budgeting, shared expenses and how to manage finances moving forward.
Key Points
- Couples should start talking about money before the relationship becomes serious, not just after engagement or marriage.
- The TD 2026 Love & Money Survey found many people feel uncomfortable discussing finances, even though financial stability matters in serious relationships.
- Financial conversations can cover debt, budgeting, spending habits, shared expenses, and whether to use joint or separate accounts.
- Financial security means different things to different people, so couples should define what it means for each partner.
- Open, honest communication about money can help couples build trust and plan for future decisions.
Rebecca Shpektor is counting down to her February wedding. She and her fiancé have reserved the venue, booked vendors and explored reception details. Amid the excitement, wedding planning has also pushed them to talk about money more openly.
Those conversations can often be difficult. The TD 2026 Love & Money Survey of 2,000 Americans found that 49% of respondents sometimes, often or always felt scared or embarrassed to discuss finances openly with a partner.
For Rebecca, Corporate Communication Manager, TD Bank U.S., those conversations include debt, budgeting and whether personal spending should come from joint or separate accounts.
“You have to talk with your partner about these things,” she said. “But I would love to know what questions I should be asking.”
Rebecca’s experience reflects what many couples face as they plan a life together, according to TD experts.
When should couples start talking about money?
Wedding planning may bring finances to the surface, but Laura Nitti, Retail Market President of Metro Pennsylvania and South New Jersey, TD Bank U.S., said couples should start talking about money much earlier in the relationship.
“I believe that couples should begin discussing finances when they think the relationship is getting serious,” she said. “Finances are a critical component and foundation of a successful relationship.”
Ashley Weeks, Wealth Strategist, TD Wealth®, agreed couples should have the conversation early because money will come up as early as who pays for dates.
“Money is often one of the most contentious issues couples face,” he said.
More complicated and practical matters, including how to handle tax filing and shared expenses, will come up after marriage. Talking in the beginning stages of the relationship gives couples more time to plan before decisions become urgent.
Those conversations should continue as priorities change, Laura said, from planning a wedding to buying a home, holiday spending or supporting children.
“I’ve been married 33 years,” Laura shared. “New stuff comes up all the time.”
How can you start a money conversation with your partner?
Because discussing money can feel taboo, Laura recommends starting with small decisions and focusing on shared dreams.
“Make it about goals and the fun that you want to have together,” she said. “Listen to each other’s point of view, find common ground and keep the conversation anchored in goals that feel exciting.”
Beginning conversations should focus on shared values and practical choices. Laura suggested couples like Rebecca and her fiancé ask:
- Where do you see us in the next three to five years?
- How will we handle disposable income?
- What do we currently have in cash? What is our current level of debt?
- What is most important to you — saving, having flexibility to spend, long-term goals, etc.?
“I think it goes beyond money,” Laura said. “It’s understanding the goals of the relationship and making sure they align.”
Why are more people considering prenups?
The TD Love & Money Survey found that 54% of respondents would consider signing a prenuptial agreement before marriage, including 29% who said “yes, absolutely” and 25% who said it would depend on the financial situation.
Millennials were the generation most likely to say they would absolutely sign a prenup (31%), while Baby Boomers were the least likely (24%).
“People may be more willing to consider prenups because money conversations are less taboo than they were for earlier generations,” Ashley said. "A prenup can be part of a larger conversation about income, assets, debt and long-term financial responsibilities."
Changing financial roles may also be a factor, Ashley noted. Couples today may be more likely to enter marriage as financial equals, making conversations about income, assets, debt and future planning feel more shared.
What does financial security mean in a relationship?
TD’s survey found that 71% of respondents value financial stability in a serious relationship. Among them, 41% said helping support a household is very important.
A person’s definition of financial security is often “very personal, and a lot of it is driven by childhood experiences,” Laura said. “It’s really linked to building trust within a relationship.”
Because each partner brings different habits, experiences and fears about money into a partnership, Laura said couples should define what security means to each of them.
“Does security mean having enough to cover the mortgage and basic needs? Does it mean maintaining a large emergency fund — and if so, how much?" she said. Mutual respect can make the conversation more productive.
How should couples talk about debt?
Couples should be honest about their comfort with debt, including when they are willing to carry it and how much feels manageable, Laura said. Each partner should also be open about how much debt they currently have.
Laura said honesty about debt can build trust. “I went into my relationship with some debt, and I didn’t want to be honest at first,” she said. “I did tell him, and it was one of the hardest conversations. We worked on it together.”
Should couples have joint or separate bank accounts?
The right approach comes down to personal preference, Laura said. Couples may wish to discuss different account arrangements with their own qualified legal and tax professionals for guidance. Whatever they choose, couples should agree on clear guidelines based on salary, budget and spending habits.
How can honest money conversations help couples succeed?
Rebecca said clear communication about spending is key.
“We’re still navigating shared expenses. I don’t want to be judged for going shopping, and he doesn’t want to be judged for going to get LEGO sets!” she said. “But we don’t need a perfect plan from day one. I’ve found that the most productive conversations often come from being uncomfortable. The more transparent you are about your goals, spending habits and expectations, the more success you’ll have in the future.”
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Read MoreFrequently Asked Questions
When should couples start talking about money?
Couples should start talking about money when the relationship becomes serious or even before. Discussing finances early can help partners understand each other’s goals, debt, spending habits and expectations before major decisions become urgent.
What did the TD Love & Money Survey find about couples and financial conversations?
The TD 2026 Love & Money Survey found that many people feel uncomfortable discussing finances with a partner, even though financial stability is important in serious relationships. The survey also found that more than half of respondents would consider signing a prenuptial agreement before marriage.
What money topics should couples discuss before marriage?
Couples may want to talk about budgeting, debt, income, disposable spending, shared expenses, financial goals, and whether they prefer using joint bank accounts, separate accounts or a combination of both.
How can couples make money conversations easier?
Starting with shared goals can make financial conversations feel less uncomfortable. Couples can focus on what they want to build together, listen to each other’s perspective and look for common ground.
Why is financial security important in a relationship?
Financial security can mean different things to each partner, from covering basic expenses to maintaining an emergency fund. Defining what security means can help couples build financial confidence and trust and make more informed decisions together.
Should couples use joint or separate bank accounts?
There is no single right answer. Couples can choose joint accounts, separate accounts or a mix of both as long as they agree on clear spending and saving guidelines based on income, budget, shared expenses and spending habits.
Source: TD 2026 Love & Money Survey – survey methodology and fielding details available at link.
We hope you found this helpful. This article is for informational purposes only and is based on information available as of September 2026 and is subject to change. This content is not intended to be used or acted upon with respect to any client's specific circumstances. For specific advice about your unique circumstances, consider talking with your qualified professionals.
