For Jean "Jay" Laraque, the term the Sandwich Generation isn't just a buzzword – it's his everyday reality. As a TD Bank Store Manager in Washington, D.C., Jay spends his days helping customers reach their financial goals. But when he clocks out, Jay and his wife step into another full-time role: Caring for their two teenage daughters and his 94-year-grandmother who raised him.
“I know I am no different than many Americans who are dealing with things like this," he said. "It's just part of life right now – juggling, caring and trying to keep everyone moving forward. "
The Sandwich Generation refers to adults caring for parents or grandparents while also raising children. According to the Journal of Geriatrics Health Care Professional, out of all adult child caregivers, 24.3% also cared for a minor child, which equals about 2.5 million individuals. That number likely climbs when accounting for the many parents whose adult children are taking longer to leave home or returning home because of housing affordability shortages or the recent loss of a job.
For Jay, this sandwich feels extra stacked. His daughters, Sara Sky, 15, and Lea Belle, 14, keep him busy with teenage life and milestone moments, such as planning a Sweet Sixteen party. At the same time, Jay and his brother are sharing the responsibility of caring for their grandmother, Maud, “Nunny” Laraque, who is 94 and lives in New York City.
Jay's world stopped when he and his brother visited their grandmother, who lived on her own, and found her lying on the floor. She had fallen and been there since the night before.
"That's when I knew things had to change," he said. "She needed more help than we could give on our own." After months of searching, he finally found a rehabilitation center that felt right. “Tears of sadness yesterday, and frustration, turned into tears of joy today."
Lessons learned the hard way
Even with all Jay is managing, his focus is on helping others avoid the same pitfalls he faced.
“I had to learn through unfortunately trial and error,” Jay said. “I’m hoping somebody can learn through my experience. I waited too long to check in with my grandmother. I should have listened to that voice in my head three years ago, saying she needed help.”
He offers the following advice for fellow caregivers:
The financial strain behind care
Mandy Kelso, Head of Financial Education for TD Bank, said Jean's story is increasingly common.
“It can be hard to figure out how to support both generations, while still ensuring your own mental and financial wellness,” she said. “It's hard to know what can be put down, what can be carried down by someone else and what can only be done by you. The answer to that is different for each family.”
Mandy noted other reasons behind the growing population of “Sandwichers” are rising costs of living and a tough job market. It’s forcing more young adult children to move back home, stretching families thin.
"Sandwichers are trying to set everyone up for success often at the expense of their own health," Mandy said. "It's emotionally exhausting."
To help, TD Bank has created digital tools and financial education resources that guide families through topics like budgeting, managing debt, preparing for a caregiver, preventing fraud and creating shared family passwords to protect assets.
“We want to spark intergenerational conversations," Mandy said. "So many people say, 'I wish they would have told me what they wanted or where their assets were.' We want to help families talk before it's too late. Financial education doesn’t just hand you solutions; it gives you a world of options you didn’t know you had."
Here are Mandy's insights for some common questions on the topic and where to find more information on the TD website:
How to decide who is responsible for paying bills for the elderly person?
There are many things to take into consideration, including the cognitive functioning of the elderly, and if they are able to assist in taking care of the bill payment.
Some helpful questions to consider are: Does one adult child live closer to the elder, or does anyone have the power of attorney to act on their behalf? Even if an adult child doesn't have the power of attorney, it is important for all family members to be involved when choosing the main financial caregiver and understanding the reasons behind the choice. This way, the main financial caregiver will have a way to communicate with the rest of the family if they ever need support or feel overwhelmed.
What's the most important tip to help prioritize financial decisions for children and parents when money is tight?
In my household, health is non-negotiable. We place importance on that which supports our individual and family health because health is what cannot be replaced by either time or money. Talk to a third party to help determine what is most important. What’s critical is that everyone is on the same page.
If a family member (adult child or parent) is living with you – how to determine how much they should contribute towards household expenses?
This can vary quite a bit depending on who is an income-earner, and who within the household is contributing to the household spending. This means that there may be multiple adults within the household earning income including one or more elders who may receive benefits payments or retirement income.
Each family will want to take into account how and when income comes through the family budget, as well as when payments become due for basic household tasks and expenses, including real costs (ex. home repair or maintenance) as well as cost in time and transportation.
Understanding and recognizing the mutually beneficial contribution of each member in the family as they work towards the combined family goals will go a long way in ensuring no one single person feels overburdened.
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- Taxes: Lowering Your Tax Bill
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How to find strength in connection
For Jay, the key to getting through this team is teamwork and honesty.
“This [situation] can be a lonely thing," he said. "Some days I focus on Grandma, and my wife reminds me not to forget the kids. Then I feel guilty because Grandma is sitting in a facility, she doesn't want to be in. It's a constant tug-of-war."
He's learned to compartmentalize, to talk openly, and to accept support when it's offered. But one particular type of support gives Jay the encouragement to keep going when it's hard.
“The hugs that I've gotten from my girls in those moments — that was the cure that day,” he said.
We hope you found this helpful. This article is for informational purposes only and is based on information available as of November 2025 and is subject to change. This content is not intended to be used or acted upon with respect to any client's specific circumstances. For specific advice about your unique circumstances, consider talking with your qualified professionals.
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